The Pitiful Sobs of a Dick Named Moby

Techno-dweeb Moby has been filling his diaper over the Election results because since he's no longer capable of making interesting or commercially desireable music (I did used to like his stuff - this isn't a political thing), he's bound his entire being up in being a self-abusing martyr for the Democratic cause.

While some self-pitying was to be expected, dig the depths of narcissistic immaturity Mopey wallows in:

OK, It's Done
11/3/2004 - New York City
can someone remind me why secession is not an option at this point?
i mean let's be realistic, we live in a divided country.
can't we have the breakaway republics of 'north-east-istan' and 'pacific-stan'?
wouldn't the red states be happier without us?
we could still travel freely and trade freely with them, but can't we just leave?
then you could have 3 countries:
northeastistan
pacificstan
redstateistan

one other option would be for us to all join the republican party en masse and make it socially liberal and fiscally conservative(as opposed to it's current 'socially puritanical/fiscally insane' status).

ok, it's done.
john kerry has seceded.
if you need us, my friends and i will be drunk for the next 4 years.
-moby

And then....

Dear....
11/4/2004 - New York City
'dear rest of america,
can't you please let little old new york city secede from the rest of the nation?
please?
we're very little and you probably wouldn't even notice that we were gone.
please? pretty please?
how about if we buy you guys donkeys?
will you let us secede if we buy each and every person in the rest of the united states a donkey?
you'd like to have your own friendly donkey, wouldn't you?
wouldn't you rather have a friendly donkey than a small insignificant city that no one really likes anyway?
we will be good neighbors, and you can come visit whenever you like(considering you have a valid passport).
again, please?
thank you very much, and i look forward to hearing your response.
-moby'

Ooooh, a free donkey?

What Do We Do Now?
11/4/2004 - New York City
a lot of people have been asking me, 'what do we do now?'
well, my answer is kind of simple and probably disappointing.
we should have fun with our friends, and do good work, and maybe adopt a dog, and eat. eating is good.
in other words, we shouldn't let ourselves get distraught over politics.
yes, america has chosen gw bush as their president.
it's not what we wanted, but that's the way it is.
we can hope that maybe the 2nd bush term will be more moderate than the first(this isn't just me being willfully naive, i do believe that a 2nd bush term might be more moderate because he's not going to up for re-election again so he doesn't have to accomodate the christian right as slavishly as he's done in the 1st term).
we'll see what happens. sorry if i sound like i'm being wishy-washy, i just don't want us all to let ourselves sink into depression over the democratically expressed will of the majority of voting americans.
it is what it is, and being depressed and despondent isn't going to make anything better.
so go out and eat some ice cream and play with a dog and go see a movie with your friends.
the world will go on, don't let yourself get depressed, ok?
moby

1. Don't get depressed? Dude....

B. I love his "yes, america has chosen gw bush as their president. it's not what we wanted, but that's the way it is." bit. When some people complained about Clinton being elected, did they take them seriously or did they laugh and kick some more sand in their faces?

Duh.

But wait there's more!!!

Dear Canada
11/4/2004 - New York City
'dear canada,
now, more than ever, your neighbor to the south(aka-the blue states)needs you. most of us living in the northern and western parts of the united states don't feel very connected to the rest of the u.s, so can we bring our states and become part of canada?
we have a lot of money and some interesting cities and we promise not to be too much trouble.
the benefits to you:
a-in one fell swoop you can have southern california and new york city! surfing in canada! suddenly the u.n is on canadian soil! broadway is suddenly in canada! you could then say that canada is the birthplace of jazz and hip-hop!
b-money. cold hard cash. the red states in the u.s might have the voting power, but guess who has the money? yup, your friendly neighborhood blue states.
so when/if you accept our offer you will instantly become the richest country in the world! that sounds pretty good, right?
c-karma. accepting this offer will give you more good karma than you'd know what to do with(because you would instantly make 120 million people VERY happy).
so you get warm beaches, tons of cash, and good karma. who can say no to that?
please let us know if you accept the offer. given our enthusiasm to join canada it's safe to say that the details of the offer could probably be worked out in an afternoon.
thank you very much,
moby p.s-just to put your minds at ease, we do know that we can't bring our assault weapons with us.'

Let's dispose of this myth of "Blue States" right now. Check this map out:

Sorry, Mopey, but there aren't really any Blue States. You've got some heavily populated Blue COUNTIES, but no states, Bub. End of line, chump. (Alright, maybe Taxachusetts.)

Liberals in their infinitely hypocritical arrogance don't seem to mind that the VAST MAJORITY of counties in states with heavily Democratic enclaves are effectively disenfranchised - what's the use of being a conservative in upstate NY when Mopey and Michael Moore and their liberal pals in Manhattan will simply outnumber them? What happened to "every vote counting"?

Yeah, right.

When the only way Gore could've won was to use the popular vote total in 2000, the Left screamed that the Electoral College was archaic and needed to go. Well, were are those calls this year? (I know, I know....)

Colorado voted on - and Maine already has IIRC - using proportional distribution of electoral votes by district so that voters are more accurately represented instead of rural bergs being overwhelmed by big cities and I've alway thought that made sense. It'll never happen, because as the map shows, Democrats would never have another chance because the country is NOT even divided, but clearly tilted to the right.

Democrats and liberals don't believe in democracy. Never forget it.