Why MLK Day Isn't A Real Holiday

Today is the 78th birthday of Martin Luther King Jr. and there's no mail delivery and I've got the day off. But for all the trappings of a national holiday, it really doesn't match up to other holidays for one glaring reason:

There aren't any sales for it.

Until the good Reverend has his visage splashed in television ads with a "Clutch Cargo"-style mouth superimposed, announcing that "Mattress delivery is FREE AT LAST!" at the Mattress Warehouse (like they do with Washington and Lincoln on President's Day sales), it's not going to be as significant a date as other holidays.

Now, the natural response is to say, "But Dr. King was a special person for whom cheesy sales would be disrespectful," but what were our Presidents? Oh, that's right, they were Evil White Men - and in the case of Washington and Jefferson, slave owners - and thus unworthy of any reverence. Dr. King deserves better. Uh-huh...and what of the birthday of our Lord and Savior, the only begotten Son of God, Jesus Christ?!? No one has a problem with commercializing his birth over the complaints of the faithful.

The lack of sales isn't a sign of respect; it's further discrimination. Until Dr. King is exploited to the same extent that Christmas and other holidays are, his birthday will remain in the back of the holiday bus.