Banned Phase: "Baby Bump"!

I was watching the Oscar coverage and the insipid twits on E! when the discussion - I'm being charitable in calling their prattling that - turned to the pregnant actresses in attendance, including Nicole Kidman, Jessica Alba and Cate Blanchett. These drones then broke out one of the current phases that makes me want to Hulk smash: baby bump.

You see it on the scandal mag covers where every starlet who decides to wear a loose shirt or gain five pounds is declared to have been inseminated by some emo rocker or movie hunk - yes, I'm bitter about the whole Angelina Jolie thing - and Entertainment Tonight goes on "Baby Bump Patrol". I know it's supposed to be cute, but it's not. It sucks, especially when they describe hugely pregnant women who are in their 8th trimester as having a bump. If that's a f*cking bump, what would a lump look like?!?

From hereon hence on Dirkworld®, anyone caught using the phrase "baby bump" within earshot of moi shall be summarily delivered a minimum of three and a maximum of five punches to the ear. Repeat offenses will receive exponentially more severe sanctions. Ya got that, idiots?!? Say the words, enter world of hurt!!!

Nuff said!